It's definitely long time since I wrote here, but now I find myself compelled to do so.
Once upon a time there was a 'nobody'. This 'nobody' at a certain
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point in his messed up life met Christ and made Him the Lord of his life. This choice he made brought much joy to family and friends from his life. But much to his surprise his life didn't really change until at one point when he messed up for REAL, thus realizing and thinking he will never have a chance with the Lord again. The Good News is that, right then the grace of God showed up /just as it says in Ephesians 2 .. "we all were dead in our trespass and done: (fill in the blank), But God who is rich in mercy brought us to life in Christ"/ . There was a big change that took place in his life. Everything changed, from the smallest detail, such as (the way he could write) to greater ones (living in another country for a while ). This brought much joy to his life realizing that he really met the Lord, found forgiveness and grace in His sight. Now, experiencing such joy and satisfaction in spite of his wretchedness, he often found himself hard to describe it or even thank Jesus enough for it. He knew it was all because 'But God' and that's what brought even much more amazement to his mind. Looking closely to his life you could see how he was growing in spiritual matters and in the physical ones. Again and again he would ask himself: "why would God bless a 'nobody' so much ?" As time went by, he slowly begun to 'move' from the stage of 'nobody' and thought he is becoming a 'somebody'.
As he got back to his Country he found it very hard and difficult to worship God when no one sees, he found it hard to enjoy fellowship with Him when he could do so many other 'good things', he found it hard to walk in integrity since nobody approves.... thus our 'nobody' that was starting to become a 'somebody' found himself in such confusing situation. He was wondering how and why is he failing so much ? He begun to think he must work harder so that he could have God bless his life and give him victory in his short comings. Nothing seemed to change. It seemed God is far and not involved, yes questioning God's love..he grieved over the situation over and over again, to the point where he got discouraged not really not knowing what to do, but only one thing: hold on to what brought him in this glorious yet hard race, Jesus's death and resurrection. Now at the time is really learning by experience what Grace vs Works really means.
"Is it my fault that i got like this, or is God doing something ???" he would ask himself.
Yet deep inside of his tiny heart knows that when God begins something He will complete it.
